Madonna Earns 43rd # 1 On Billboard Dance Charts. We Are Not Worthy.

IRRELEVANT LESSERS. BOW DOWN.

The mighty Legendonna has done it again! While basic Pop stars are busy being, well, basic – Madonna is busy earning money. A whole lotta money. Something that should culminate to roughly about 500 million dollars once her MDNA World Tour is over, making it the highest grossing tour EVER. Your bank account gently weeps.

SLAYDONNA??

And while she’s busy vogue-ing, justifying her love for her fans, expressing herself, cherishing her status as the material girl, showing a wrinkly boob and basically slaughtering Lady Gargoyle and Lady Elton John on her tour – Her Madgesty is also busy dominating the Billboard Dance/Club Play Songs Chart for a record 43rd time, as the 3rd single ‘Turn Up The Radio‘ from her 8th Billboard # 1 Album ‘MDNA‘ tops the chart this week! With this achievement, Madonna moves further ahead of runner-up and fellow legend Janet Jackson with 19 # 1’s on the same chart, and she moves closer to tying Country God George Strait’s record for the most toppers on ANY single Billboard Chart. Strait has a record 44 # 1’s on the Billboard Country Songs Chart, which the Queen Of Pop/Literally Everything is poised to equal very soon indeed if a 4th single from ‘MDNA‘ is serviced to the Dance charts!


Insiders have exclusively revealed to Zomgtalk that Lady Gaga and Elton John have reacted furiously to the news. In between shows of her ‘Born Irrelevant‘ tour in Maputo, Mozambique, Gaga was seen feverishly performing a Voodoo ritual wearing a kangaroo skin poncho, all the while sipping on boiled armadillo juice. When asked, she replied mostly in a potent mix of Swahili and Scheibe-nese, that her new album ‘Artpop‘ will be renamed ‘Madonna, Die You Bitch‘. The first single, a collaboration with Elton John, Rebecca Black and Curiosity from Mars will be a ground-breaking genre-bending blend of Dance, Dubstep and Inca chants, titled ‘Madonna, Stay Pressed (Forever Irrelevant) Part 1‘. Here’s the single cover :

Here’s a list of ALL of Madonna’s 43 chart-toppers on the Billboard Dance/Club Play Songs Chart :

1983, “Holiday”/”Lucky Star” (five weeks at No. 1)
1984, “Like a Virgin” (three)
1985, “Material Girl”
1985, “Angel”/”Into the Groove”
1987, “Open Your Heart”
1987, “Causing a Commotion (Remix)”
1988, “You Can Dance (LP Cuts)”
1989, “Like a Prayer” (two)
1989, “Express Yourself” (three)
1990, “Keep It Together”
1990, “Vogue” (two)
1991, “Justify My Love” (two)
1992, “Erotica”
1993, “Deeper and Deeper”
1993, “Fever”
1994, “Secret” (two)
1995, “Bedtime Story”
1997, “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”
1998, “Frozen” (two)
1998, “Ray of Light” (four)
1999, “Nothing Really Matters” (two)
1999, “Beautiful Stranger” (two)
2000, “American Pie”
2000, “Music” (five)
2001, “Don’t Tell Me”
2001, “What It Feels Like for a Girl”
2001, “Impressive Instant” (two)
2002, “Die Another Day” (two)
2003, “American Life”
2003, “Hollywood”
2003, “Me Against the Music,” Britney SpearsĀ featuring Madonna (two)
2004, “Nothing Fails”
2004, “Love Profusion”
2005, “Hung Up” (four)
2006, “Sorry” (two)
2006, “Get Together”
2006, “Jump” (two)
2008, “4 Minutes,” Madonna featuring Justin TimberlakeĀ & TimbalandĀ (two)
2008, “Give It 2 Me”
2009, “Celebration”
2012, “Give Me All Your Luvin’,” Madonna featuring Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.
2012, “Girl Gone Wild”
2012, “Turn Up the Radio”