We all love us some Lady Gaga, fondly referred to as Lady Gargoyle by yours truly. She’s mostly neurotic, and in all possibility she’s been conceived on Pluto, after which she traveled through space in that egg she hatched out from during the 2011 Grammy’s and reached Earth.
And occasionally she creates amazing music as well, music with a message for all the underdogs as well as inter-planetary hybrids. When she rejuvenated dance music back in 2008, we all thought she was this lovely new artist who creates good music and looks all normal. We under-estimated the ‘normal’ part of our assumptions. Before we could say pa-pa-pa-poker-face, she wore an entire cow to an awards ceremony, she bled on stage, she wore a hat made of her own hair, and she hatched out of an egg on stage, she dressed up as a panda, she wore heels that were probably made for a remake of the film ‘ET’, and she created videos. Well, ‘videos’ would be an understatement.
They were epic, like ‘Bad Romance‘, and then they were outright neurotic like ‘Born This Way‘ (hello..i get it that you were bullied in school and had a tough childhood and stuff, most of us did. But looking like an anorexic post menopausal grandma wearing black panties and a horrific excuse of a bra, dancing next to half a skeleton with pink hair and giving birth in space with gooey stuff reminiscent of diarrhea to a song that is straight up Madonna does not exactly get your point across. In fact ‘Judas‘ was a great video, although the song sounded like the inside of a blast furnace in a factory). They were funny, like ‘Telephone‘ in which she did her massive LGBT fan base proud by smooching a woman and flirting with Beyoncé (who, by the way, looked like as if an ostrich had nested on her), and they were meaningless, like ‘Alejandro‘, which showcased a gamut of scantily dressed men all set to pounce on each other and finally on her (it does not help the fact that when Gaga’s not too busy looking like an alien, she also looks like a man).
So when Gaga suddenly dressed up as a normal human female a few months ago, the world in its entirety went into shock. Her little monsters collectively spend sleepless nights pondering over the fact that their Mother Monster might be sick or may have returned to Pluto. Newspapers and tabloids went into a frenzy, and even here in India, where recently democracy has just reached new heights, battles have been won, the headlines screamed ‘Lady Gaga Dresses Normally‘, with a photograph of Gaga looking all smug and mostly like a woman.
So when Gaga finally appeared on the 2011 MTV VMA’s dressed like a man in black trousers and a dirty white t-shirt, also known as her male alter ego Jo Calderone, the world and the galaxy collectively let out a massive sigh of relief, while her little monsters went back to sipping on cat blood, eating owl eyes and dressing up like their Mamma Gargoyle. Like i said, we all luuurvve us some Gaga! And what a sight she was!
I must admit she looks quite the testosterone drippy stud, and just look at that pout of hers when she leans in to land a wet one on the very amused and giggly Britney Spears, who in all probability was shaking on the inside. You never know what happens when Gaga is around. I mean it’s the same Britney who almost had an orgy on stage with the original Queen of Pop, Madonna aka Santa-Hagdonna, and Christina Aguilera who was fresh into her ‘Dirrrty’ phase, which meant that she was hell-bent on dressing up like a eunuch where ever she went.(Gaga would’ve been so proud). And for this very same Britney to shy away from Gaga, speaks volumes about the power of Mother Madness.
And then we have the Princess of Hip-Hop, Mizz Nicki Minaj. Like Gargoyle, we’ve grown to love her as well. Although half as mad as Gargoyle, Minaj aka Harajuku Barbie has been no less of a shocker herself. While Gaga lived on Pluto, Nicki probably spend her entire childhood inside a Barbie factory, hence her obsession to look and act like a Barbie Doll ever since she arrived on the scene.
Now when one looks as sweet as a Barbie, the last thing you expect from her is to open her mouth and let out a violent smirk and shriek while she ferociously raps ‘first things first I’ll eat your brains, cuz that’s what a motherf****** monster do‘ on the song ‘Monster’, while Kanye West and Jay-Z are left looking and sounding like bib-wearing scruffy little school boys on their own song! So when it came to dressing up, either in her videos or for award ceremonies, she’s been as eclectic as a Barbie Doll gone Bjork.
But when she appeared at the VMA’s this Sunday, wearing a cartoon patterned face mask, an ice cream cone pendant neck lace, her hair resembling cotton candy and a variety of toys protruding out from various parts of her, it seemed like either an entire toy factory had collapsed on her, or that maybe she had dressed ‘normally’ and then got caught inside of Hurricane Irene. But then again, we all luurrvve Mizz Minaj as well, and she went on to win the VMA for Best Hip-Hop Video that night for her global smash ‘Superbass‘. So in all probability she’ll not be letting go of her lucky toy-factory dress anytime soon!
And then we have songstress à la supreme Adele. Face it, this is Adele’s year. She’s the biggest selling artist this year, she’s broken records, created a few of her own and has taken the world by storm with a voice that’ll roast Lady Gargoyle’s meat dress into a well-done stake, with her in it.
Although just 23, Adele’s vocal and musical style is something that would be classified as pop meets adult contemporary meets soul, aka British Soul. But just because you’re singing stuff that sounds mature does not mean you have to look like an oldie yourself. Adele looks gorgeous. Her curves, her eyes, her curls accentuate her earthy natural charm. But this elegant black dress she wore made her look, well, elegant. Like Grandma Adele. You’re 23, you’re ruling the music world, and these are the MTV VMA’s. Show us your funky side girl! And save the sophisticated blacks for the Grammy’s, which by the way, are all yours this year!
Queen of the VMA’s Katy Perry however shimmered with a variety of looks. We’ve loved her candy and Barbie inspired looks before. This time though she went all oriental for her red carpet look. Keeping her pink hair intact though, along with matching pink Jimmy Choos. It almost looked like she just walked out of the sets of ‘Memoirs Of A Geisha‘ and barged straight into Nicki Minaj’s make-up trailer.
Later on though she went all sophisticated in a Tom Ford violet gown, again with her pink hair intact. But when she accepted her award for Video Of The Year, she looked like she just scooted out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon complete with a cheese cube hat. I get it that you’ve been nominated for 10 awards for ‘Teenage Dream‘, but why enact ‘Teenage Fashion Nightmare‘ while you’re collecting your prestigious awards?
Beyoncé, on the other hand, kept it chic, and she proudly let the world know that she was a momma-to-be.
She also performed a stunning rendition of ‘Love On Top’ in a D’n’G jacket, and thankfully did not perform the highly epileptic dance steps of ‘Run The World(Girls)’.(the baby would’ve popped out for sure if she went anywhere near those moves).
Justin Bieber kept it as androgynous as possible ( in all honesty he does not have to try too hard), and brought his pet snake along with him for the award ceremony. Probably to keep bulls from charging at his bright red pants. Ps..kindly do not let Lady Gaga see that you’ve got your pet along Bieber, or else she just might be inspired to bring her pet Ostrich/Orangutan/Komodo Dragon at the Grammy’s next year.
A special mention goes to Kelly Rowland, who wore a fantastic black outfit designed by Indian designers Falguni and Shane. And Kelly’s looking positively divine! Probably all glowy from the success of her single ‘Motivation‘ that spend a whopping 7 weeks at #1 on the R’n’B charts recently.
Among the others, Jessie J showed the world how to look fashionable with a broken leg, while singer Kreayshawn looked as if Nicki Minaj, Mickey Mouse and the late Amy Winehouse had all crashed into her while she was on her way.
Selena Gomez went goth and looked like a young Morticia Adams from the Adams Family, while Britney for a change looked just fine in black.
Overall, like the music, fashion at the 2011 VMA’s too lived up to its hype of being royally unpredictable. And it also heralded Lady Gargoyles return to ab-normalcy. Praise the VMA’s!
(Photos from Billboard.com)